Lists of the Bad and the Tov

Enjoy my personal lists about the ins and outs of Israeli society (based on my oh-so-astute observations).

Top things that will take a very long time to adjust to:

• Metric system - Meters? Grams? Jigga what?
• Celsius vs. Fahrenheit - Could be counted as part of the metric system but deserves its own line. So if 0 degrees C is 32 degrees F (i.e. freezing), how the heck do I convert the rest?
• Thinking in Shekels vs. Dollars - Along the same mathematic route, the $ is worth what now? 3.7 sheks? How can I make a snap decision about buying 80 cotton balls if I don't know if they're $2.52 or $3.01??
•  No Heinz ketchup - Yes, Osem has gotten way more awesome in that department, but still cannot measure up (measure up!! get it???).
• Bus drivers here - I'm from New York, so I'm used to attitude, but this is over the top. Don't get me started on how I have to hold on for dear life each time the bus RAMS out of the station and gravity shifts.
• Fashion - Just do not get the style here, which I have diagnosed as a mixture of earth mother/moshav hippie, biker chick and casual jeans and a tee. So there is nowhere to wear my fabulous collection of dresses. I did wear my silky leopard dress over Shabbos, and I believe the people of Jerusalem liked it (if their quizzical stares were any indication).
• Shopping - Nope. Nope. American Apparel is here and apparently H&M is coming, so there is a ray of light, but they are both way more expensive than NY prices and anyway, I brought enough clothes with me to get through the next 30 years, easy.
• Wimpy imitation Q-tips
• Lack of accessible and affordable manicures - Shlomi was unavailable on Friday to groom me
• Learning to type on an Israeli keyboard - I have just entered 7th grade hell (when I learned to type in English)
• Potential to become a heffa - the food is just toooo good

Speaking of good food, this brings me to my positive list.

Tops things about Israel that are amazing and I will luv 4evah:

• The food - The fooooooood!!! OMG!!!! It is soooo amazing!!! I knew it would be, but having the option to fress it at all times is a dream come true. The shippudim (shish kebab) on Agrippas! The borekas at the bus station! The cappuccinos in the cafes! The yogurt and milkies in the makolets! The Mongolian BBQ at the rest stops!
• How everyone is Jewish - This includes Dudi the bus driver, Yaakov the computer tech, Leah the neighborhood grocer, Ezzi the Mafioso.
• How everything reflects Judaism - From the street signs - all named after famous people in the Torah and throughout Jewish history - to the sign on the bus that quotes Pirkei Avot ("Mipnei Sayvah Takum") requesting that you give your seat up for the elderly (i.e. me)
• Having G-d in close proximity - Had a lousy day? Your favorite figs aren't on sale? Go to the Kotel. Daven at some kevarim in Tiveriah. Perhaps that papaya will go down in price.
• Random Middle East/Old World character - Bedouin tents, old school villages, haggling at the shuk. It aint always 1st world around here.
• Agriculture - Speaking again and again of food, driving by fields when transversing the country. For example, going from Jerusalem to Tel Aviv, one may pass a field of peppers, or a random etrog tree in someone's backyard.
• The weather - I know this is not the most opportune time for me to mention this to my US peeps, but I, the ultimate winter hater, am loving the lack of snow, sleet and bitter cold. My white down coat, however, is not loving its lack of airtime.
• Beauty - People just look dang good.

That's it for now, my friends. Please chime in with your likes and dislikes. I want to hear what you think about kilos and tangerines.