So! I've been going on and on about the garden in my new apartment, when G-d had an entirely different garden in mind for me.
About a year ago I obtained a copy of "The Garden of Emunah" by Rabbi Shalom Arush, and my life has never been the same. We've all heard the conventional Jewish wisdom that 'everything is meant to be' and 'we must have faith' but it's really hard to internalize at times. I, particularly, am very high energy and my mind is constantly whirring around, exploring a million different possibilities for every action that I and those around me take. Having been "Me" (or as I call myself at times, "Moi") for so long, I know it's very important that I stop myself often and focus on my intention to be relaxed and believe that everything will work out for the best.
I do stop myself whenever I remember to, but it's not enough. I know that life would be alot easier if I could just r-e-l-a-x, especially now that I've made aliyah.
Which is where "The Garden of Emunah" comes in. The book says alot of the things that I have heard before, but is written in such a plain and true way that it really speaks to me. Some of its main lessons include:
- Wherever you are at every minute is exactly where you are meant to be (so there is no use wishing you had taken another course). Don't beat yourself up for your actions (unless you, G-d forbid, murdered someone or stole their salami sandwich).
- Everything happens for a reason. It might become clear to us one day, or it might not, but every single thing in our lives, from the biggest events (bar mitzvah shmorg) to the minutiae (the menu saying 'spork' instead of 'fork' - stuff like this happens often in Israel) is predetermined and helps put the world in balance.
- We must thank G-d for everything that happens to us, whether good or bad, and try to listen to the message each event is passing on to us, which will help us fulfill our mission in this world.
I know this is heavy stuff and not for everyone, but it really spoke to me. I first read it when I was in Miami, taking a break from everyday life and trying to figure out my next step. What I learned really gave me license to stop worrying that I was in the wrong place at the wrong time - since G-d is pulling the strings behind the stage. I truly believe that these lessons are part of the reason I was finally able to make aliyah (having wanted it for so long).
Imagine my delight when I passed a poster on a random wall near my sublet (there are many of these, all advertising weddings/funerals/various religious gatherings), which screamed out in fluorescent green that the author of the book himself, Rabbi Arush, was going to be speaking in Jerusalem this week.
!!!!!!!
Of course I made it my business to go. Even though I wavered a little bit on the actual night, since I was so tired, I pushed myself out the door. I really had no idea of the location of the Yeshiva in which he was speaking, but I thought I'd figure it out.
Having dilly-dallied getting ready, I was pressed for time. I hopped on a bus and the nice (!) bus driver and another passenger helped me figure out where the random street was. It seemed to be a long ways off.
I was determined though - so I started walking. I noticed that it was getting late and the thought that I would miss hearing the Rabbi speak really upset me, but I figured I still might catch part of the speech.
I also thought about something I had learned - that if you have a pure intention to do something truly good, G-d will make it happen.
And it did!! As I was hoofing it down the road, wondering when I would ever get there, a random cab driver called out to me and asked where I was going. I told him I didn't want to pay him but he responded that he would take me for free.
Turns out, he had a passenger to pick up on the exact same street as my destination. In fact, the little old lady waiting outside for the driver (who seemed rather surprised to see me sitting in the back seat, I might add) lived three houses down from exactly where I needed to go.
I felt like G-d had arranged a free ride for me.
And I had not missed the Rabbi after all! I enjoyed his speech but the main thing was actually seeing him in person. I had to keep pinching myself that I actually was in Israel, in Jerusalem, listening to the man behind a body of work that had so inspired me.
After the speech was over, I went outside to see if I could procure a hasty brocha (blessing) from the Rabbi. Despite his being surrounded by anxious hordes of people, I managed to ask him for a blessing and told him that I had just made aliyah. He shouted joyfully - that's the only way to describe it - and gave me a beautiful brocha indeed.
So last night was a pretty momentous night for me.
Despite worry and anxiety, it's clear to me that there is a plan and I'm being guided down a specific path.
And I'm not telling you this to brag about my luck (nyah nyah nyah), but rather to tell you that I think there is a plan for all of us. Even if you're not a particularly spiritual person or don't believe at all, it's comforting to know that events like this do happen and there is (or maybe for you, might seem to be) a power in the universe that cares about each and every one of us.
In any case, it gave me a good feeling about my future. (I don't know if this future will involve continuous free taxi rides. That would be such a plus.)
I wish all of you inner peace and happiness.
And now - having said my lengthy piece - it's back to everyday priorities. Off to forage in the kitchen.
