KumKums!!!

Yo, hot diggity dawgs! I am recovering nicely from the post-Yom Ha'atzmaut BBQ Bonanza, you will be happy to hear.

Plus, thank you to my friend Joel for posting this most amazing link on Facebook- this comedian writes his 62 favorite things about Israel (plus you can go to links that include even more faves from previous years).

One of the things I absolutely love about this dude is that he keeps harping on his love for kumkums - electric kettles (reason #5 in 2009 and #9 in 2008). I, too, am absolutely obsessed with them! They warm up your water in about 20 seconds, max, and I, too, can't understand how Americans and the rest of the greater enlightened world have existed without them thus far. (I mean, I'm sure the isolated house or 12 in Ireland or New Jersey has one, but you won't find them in every kitchen (and break room, dorm, hotel - need I go on?) the way you will here.

Plus, saying 'kumkum' is just too cute.

I hope that you'll consider getting your own kumkum after reading this. Just think, in the blink of an eye, you can make instant:

• Coffee 
• Oatmeal
• Tea
• Hot water with lemon (har)
• And endless other tantalizing possibilities...

NEway, I must get to bed. Off to dream of kumkums! Be good!

Apartment Hunt, Oh Apartment Hunt

"Apartment Hunt, Oh Apartment Hunt..." (sing to the tune of "Xmas Tree, Oh My Xmas Tree)

If you don't know the tune of this Xmas song then I forgive you, since a Jew has no business knowing it anyway. I can be forgiven since I lived in galus (as they say in the shtetl) for so long, but YOU should never have known from it (as Bubbe would say).

Anyhoo, the song was brought on by the insane "to'ing and fro'ing" I have been doing in order to find the right apartment. My sublet runs out on Feb. 15, necessitating that I move out on Feb. 14. (American Valentine's Day - how apropos - if cupid could shoot an arrow into the bashert apartment door I would be besotted 4ever.)

It's sad because I've become ever-so-attached to the apartment I'm subletting in the German Colony. It is an extremely charming one-bedroom straight out of a Van Gogh painting: blue pocket doors, fluttery curtains, wonderful outdoor space. (Sorry to disappoint but there is, however, no psychedelic Starry, Starry theme.)  I knew I would love it and it has thoroughly spoiled me in terms of finding something I like as much.

At this point I've looked at a whole variety of dwellings, and am finding Jerusalem real estate shockingly harder to deal with than in Manhattan. I almost took an amazingly priced 2-bedroom near the Arnona/Abu Tor neighborhood. However, it was out of the way and being that I will be working from home, it is of extreme importance that I be in close proximity to all of the most popular and fabulous coffee shops on Emek Refaim. I plan to swan on over there with my laptop a number of times a week so that I can be among people as I tap away.

In any case, I've learned that you really have to follow your heart in the apartment search and hopefully it will end soon, since I don't relish the idea of jumping from friend to friend again. (Please refer to entry: Pilates??? Beuller???)

So, I've tried not to let the search overwhelm me and have been occupying myself with a variety of pursuits. One of them is laundry. The washing machine/dryer combo in my sublet is one thing that is very non-Van-Goghesque - it's housed in a shed in the garden. (A garden! Imagine that in Manhattan! Ah, the ecstasy!) I've managed to thoroughly mangle the entire process and have been warring with the machines. First I couldn't open the door to put the clothes in. Then I couldn't shut it. Then I put the detergent in the wrong place (but boy, did it smell delicious!). Then I put the clothes in the dryer for a good 40 minutes and when I came back, they were still soaking wet. Perhaps all of this hullabaloo has something to do with the fact that the directions are in French.

On another note, as I was spacing out on the bus today (after congratulating myself for not falling on my butt), I thought about the following random things that I love about Israel:

-Electric teapots - Present in every Israeli home, these one-minute wonders have your water boiling before you've even dumped your oatmeal packet into your mug.

-Cafes - Israelis don't grab coffee and go. They hang out for hours and shoot the breeze. Truly, no one seems to work at all in this country since the cafes are always mobbed. Then again, they could be working 'from home' like me, tourists, or trust fund babies (lucky brats).

-The dramatic "CHHHH" sound in the Hebrew language - It just makes the words so pronounced. I'm so glad I learned to do it when I was but a young pupil.

-How the country is so small - Someone randomly emailed me on Facebook one day, then recognized me in town the next day.

-Greek salads - Israelis do such wonderful things with goat cheese.

Okay campers, off to do final battle with the laundry. G-dspeed!!!

Lists of the Bad and the Tov

Enjoy my personal lists about the ins and outs of Israeli society (based on my oh-so-astute observations).

Top things that will take a very long time to adjust to:

• Metric system - Meters? Grams? Jigga what?
• Celsius vs. Fahrenheit - Could be counted as part of the metric system but deserves its own line. So if 0 degrees C is 32 degrees F (i.e. freezing), how the heck do I convert the rest?
• Thinking in Shekels vs. Dollars - Along the same mathematic route, the $ is worth what now? 3.7 sheks? How can I make a snap decision about buying 80 cotton balls if I don't know if they're $2.52 or $3.01??
•  No Heinz ketchup - Yes, Osem has gotten way more awesome in that department, but still cannot measure up (measure up!! get it???).
• Bus drivers here - I'm from New York, so I'm used to attitude, but this is over the top. Don't get me started on how I have to hold on for dear life each time the bus RAMS out of the station and gravity shifts.
• Fashion - Just do not get the style here, which I have diagnosed as a mixture of earth mother/moshav hippie, biker chick and casual jeans and a tee. So there is nowhere to wear my fabulous collection of dresses. I did wear my silky leopard dress over Shabbos, and I believe the people of Jerusalem liked it (if their quizzical stares were any indication).
• Shopping - Nope. Nope. American Apparel is here and apparently H&M is coming, so there is a ray of light, but they are both way more expensive than NY prices and anyway, I brought enough clothes with me to get through the next 30 years, easy.
• Wimpy imitation Q-tips
• Lack of accessible and affordable manicures - Shlomi was unavailable on Friday to groom me
• Learning to type on an Israeli keyboard - I have just entered 7th grade hell (when I learned to type in English)
• Potential to become a heffa - the food is just toooo good

Speaking of good food, this brings me to my positive list.

Tops things about Israel that are amazing and I will luv 4evah:

• The food - The fooooooood!!! OMG!!!! It is soooo amazing!!! I knew it would be, but having the option to fress it at all times is a dream come true. The shippudim (shish kebab) on Agrippas! The borekas at the bus station! The cappuccinos in the cafes! The yogurt and milkies in the makolets! The Mongolian BBQ at the rest stops!
• How everyone is Jewish - This includes Dudi the bus driver, Yaakov the computer tech, Leah the neighborhood grocer, Ezzi the Mafioso.
• How everything reflects Judaism - From the street signs - all named after famous people in the Torah and throughout Jewish history - to the sign on the bus that quotes Pirkei Avot ("Mipnei Sayvah Takum") requesting that you give your seat up for the elderly (i.e. me)
• Having G-d in close proximity - Had a lousy day? Your favorite figs aren't on sale? Go to the Kotel. Daven at some kevarim in Tiveriah. Perhaps that papaya will go down in price.
• Random Middle East/Old World character - Bedouin tents, old school villages, haggling at the shuk. It aint always 1st world around here.
• Agriculture - Speaking again and again of food, driving by fields when transversing the country. For example, going from Jerusalem to Tel Aviv, one may pass a field of peppers, or a random etrog tree in someone's backyard.
• The weather - I know this is not the most opportune time for me to mention this to my US peeps, but I, the ultimate winter hater, am loving the lack of snow, sleet and bitter cold. My white down coat, however, is not loving its lack of airtime.
• Beauty - People just look dang good.

That's it for now, my friends. Please chime in with your likes and dislikes. I want to hear what you think about kilos and tangerines.