I'm Standing Right in Front of You, Dead

Chas v'shalom!

But truly, that quote epitomizes Israeli bureaucracy. The first week I was here, a new friend who I'll call Tov told me a story about obtaining her Teudat Zehut - essentially a social security number that ensures your identity as an Israeli citizen.

Tov presented herself at the appropriate Ministry (HaPanim - I believe - which means the interior). Whereupon, Tov was informed that she was, in fact, dead.

Tov insisted that she was, in fact, alive. Wasn't she standing right there?

Prove it, responded the bored Israeli clerk (who had seen it all and clearly was not impressed). Despite Tov's brandishment of multiple forms of ID, the clerk informed her that the system had her listed as dead and that was that.

Ultimately, Tov managed to have her status changed. However, it took three months, and as a result, she could not obtain health insurance until the mess was cleared up.

After all, what would a dead person need with a doctor?